Hi! I’m Ari and I am a frustrated shopaholic. Yes, you read that right.
And no, I am not a mythical character.
Before I let you in on my cheapest, darkest secrets –I’m gonna have to make sure you understand completely who you’re dealing with here.
What exactly is a frustrated shopaholic? Well darlings, I am the down-to-Earth version of Emily from The Devil Wears Prada (I mean that literally. I’m a hundred bucks away from being dirt poor ha.ha.ha) and the long lost twin of your look-for-something-cute-under-ten-dollars mother.
Yeah, I’m talking ‘bout you, girl…
Don’t get me wrong though, I am honestly not the sort of woman who just breezes past you with her Gucci handbag, looking like a model and smelling like a magazine.
I’m that girl you see turning her nose up at flowy skirts and pretty, clingy tops on display at the mall and acting like I’m “soooo above that” so others won’t know I’m dying inside ‘cause I can’t afford them.
BUT! Just ’cause I can’t buy it, doesn’t mean I don’t still get to wear it. How? I take note of the style and if it looks good on me – I go out to find a more affordable (and sometimes even cuter) version.
Truth be told; I, too dream of chic, hip dresses that float around my ankles and billow out in waves with every skippin’ step I take. I weep over beautiful, beautiful little purses that are just big enough for my make up (fine, I mean junk food) and small enough to look absolutely adorable. And yes, damn it – my mouth does foam over the highest high heels I know I will never ever get to wear. (Ever!)
So there you go! I think we’ve established we have the exact same wet dream every single starless night, and that is Ian Somerhalder. Just kidding – shopping.
It doesn’t matter what you’re lusting after – a new Marc Jacobs bag, Chanel boots, or maybe a pair of red hot Converse. The point is we are all obsessed with pretty things that cost way too much. And that’s not even the problem. The real problem here is how we have lost sight of the whole point of shopping and looking good.
Shopping is a glorious phenomenon. You shouldn’t feel guilty about it, so stop thinking you have to spend a thousand bucks on a damn thong! Buying yourself something (or some things, whatever) should make you happy. It’s an almost euphoric experience – if, and only if, you do it right sister!
But now, what do we have getting shoved down our throats by the society? A bunch of chicks on Instagram posting photos they stole from Louis Vuitton, slapped a filter on and voila! They are fabulouuus! Not.
I don’t know who it is exactly that started the trend that if it ain’t Prada, it ain’t pretty.
Girls, if it’s pricier than your college education, meals and transpo included – IT IS NOT WORTH IT!
(PS: If you’re one of those gals who had a year-round limo service, substitute “y” for the price of gas)
Look, say what you want but I swear to you right here and now, I am not just saying these things ‘cause I can’t afford Versace gowns…
I’m putting this up because so many women out there are letting themselves get defined by how much their outfits cost when at the end of the day, all we really want is to look good and feel better about ourselves.
Gorgeous dresses and stylish tops CAN be found outside the four walls of Prada, ya know?
Trust me ladies, pissing away your trust fund on two articles of clothing is going to make you feel like stabbing something with a fork in the long run.
So if you’re still sitting there scoffing at me, hear this: Men don’t give a damn who you’re wearing.
(See: Chandler Bing – Who are you wearing? You look fabulous!)
Hello? They don’t care what famous designer or expensive brand is printed on the tag of your blouse. Heck, most of them probably think Dolce & Gabbana are some damn cartoon characters. Stop worrying so much; it’s not like anybody’s going to demand you show them the receipts or else!
Honestly, I got most of what’s in my closet for less than $10 and nobody’s ever given me grief about said clothes’ pricing. Why, you ask? Because they know I won’t take their crap and I know I look good in whatever the heck I’m wearing because hey, why else would I buy it?
Bottom line? Hang tags are hidden for a reason. Don’t be a pushover who just goes along with what everybody else is into right now even if it means not being able to afford food for at least a week. It doesn’t matter if you shop in thrift stores or buy secondhand stuff on eBay as long as you feel confident that you are rocking those $4 jeans.
Oh, and if you’re wondering about the title, see the movie Serendipity – John Cusack is abs adorbs!